Letters To Our Maddie: Special Delivery

Dear Maddie,

First off, I apologize that it has been a month since my last update...your arrival has kept me quite occupied! :)
Anyways, just an FYI, I started this blog when I found out I was pregnant with you as a way to keep our family and friends updated. Now that you are here I plan to continue, as it is a way for me to document how you grow and show off some of your many many photos. So what better way to start then to tell the story of the night/morning you joined us...

To play a little catch up, I had went to the doctor the Thursday before you were born and was 2 cm dilated and the doctor decided to strip my membranes as a way to hopefully start inducing labor (so that was my last day of work). In the meantime, I was trying everything (with in reason) that was suggested to me to get you to move along. Although I had no problem being induced that coming Tuesday, a part of me really wanted you to come on your own - I wanted to experience the whole natural process!

Well nothing seemed to work...spicy food, walks, hand cleaning floors...and the list goes on. So finally I had convinced myself you were not coming any earlier than the night of induction. However, Monday morning when Daddy went to work I started to feel a little different. I told your Dad when we got up that I thought I may have had a contraction, but truly wasn't sure. So I went about my day as planned, however, I was starting to have some cramping pain that had me wondering if this was what people were telling me about.

Around 2pm I started to keep track of what I thought were contractions, but still wasn't 100% sure. They were about 12 min apart and felt like a combination of menstrual cramps, feeling like I had to have a bowel movement, and a little bit of back pain. Additionally I was actually going to the bathroom several times that day (very unusual for me). Around 4pm they were more like 7 min apart and I debated whether I should call your Daddy to come home early; but for some reason I still wasn't quite convinced I was in labor yet.

Once he got home and we ate some dinner, he made the executive decision that we should go to your Granny and Papa's house since they live 5 min (not 45 min) from the hospital. He could just tell from how I was acting that it was going to be that night - and if not, we were that much closer for the induction the following day. Well I was very glad he made that decision! After waiting about 2 hours at their house and realizing I was not going to be comfortable anywhere but the hospital, we decided to head over there. I truly wasn't in horrible pain, but when the contractions came they were definitely uncomfortable; plus I started to have some bleeding. So at this point I was pretty sure this was it!

We got to the hospital around 11:15pm and after waiting for the unconcerned woman at the desk to finally take care of us, they sent me to Labor & Delivery triage. I kept hoping my water would break in front of this woman's desk since she apparently did not think I was in labor! After getting changed and answering a billion questions, the resident came in to exam me. She looked at me somewhat surprised and told us that I was 6 cm dilated and 75% effaced and followed that with the question "did you really walk in here?". Apparently it's not normal to walk all the way from the parking garage when you are 6 cm and in labor!

They immediately moved us to a delivery room and called anesthesia for my epidural. I had 3 different nurses working with us to try and get everything done ASAP! They were so sure you were coming soon - hah! In the meantime Daddy was calling our family to let them know you would be here soon, so if they were coming to the hospital they better get going. You were coming that night!

In the meantime, they sent Daddy to wait for our visitors while I got my epidural. The anesthesiologist was worried the epidural wouldn't take effect soon enough so he additionally gave me a spinal. The whole procedure was not as bad as I had anticipated - the novocaine was probably the worst part. I immediately felt relief...honestly, I immediately felt nothing! Overall, the epidural was a great idea, but the idea of a spinal beforehand kind of backfired on all of us.

After the procedure, Daddy returned and Granny had arrived as well. I felt pretty good for being in labor. Granny even commented that I didn't act like a woman in labor (but that's all because I really didn't feel anything at all). So now it was just a matter of waiting til you were ready to join us. To waste the time we watched TV, played Monopoly on our iPad, and captured a few last shots of me preggers...

Our last preggo pic

The last pic of us as family of just two

Around 2:30am the doctors came in to check me again and I was now 9.5 cm dilated and fully effaced. So they broke my water and said we'd start pushing in an hour! Daddy went to the waiting room to update everyone and at this point Granny decided she was going to stay in the room with us for your delivery. Secretly I knew all along that she was going to stay, even if she'd been denying it the whole pregnancy.

Granny in waiting

About an hour later the nurse came in so we could start pushing...this was it!!! Until we then realized, I was so numb from the spinal/epidural, that I couldn't feel anything - not even enough to push. So we were back to waiting. For the next couple of hours they came in and out to check and see if I was starting to feel things a little more - still nothing. Finally around 5:30am we decided to turn the epidural down and just try my best to start pushing.

After a little while, the nurse was able to see your head coming down, but you were stubborn and weren't ready to come quite yet! They kept telling me that from what they could see, you were going to be a baldy (boy were they wrong)! We continued pushing on and off until the nurse decided it would be best to start a little pitocin and have the epidural turned off. I was a little nervous that this would backfire (which it did) - but we went with it. Well I definitely started to feel the contractions more, but was still very numb.

However, around 7am I had had enough of the pain from the contractions - I wanted that epidural back on NOW!! Of course this was all going down in the midst of shift change - so things suddenly became somewhat chaotic (new doctor, new anesthesiologist, new resident, twice as many nurses and even a nursing student was pushed in there)! The newly energized, "peepy" staff came in and immediately started to set everything up for delivery. They did not realize we had been stuck at this point for about 2 hours now. Thankfully my old nurses stuck around as long as possible to help - after all they wanted to meet you too now.

Finally the anesthesiologist came in and turned the epidural back on. However, it must have been too much too fast because I almost instantly got sick! Things were suddenly spirally out of control - I was hot, I was thirsty, I was uncomfortable, and I was exhausted!! And to top it off I had this new nurse that wanted me to try all these new ways of pushing; one of which included a squat bar! Seriously?!?! I've been pushing for 2 hours, had my epidural turned off and can't even feel my right leg and you want me to squat at the end of this bed!?! Despite the fact I told her I was going to fall off the bed, I attempted what she wanted to do; and I was right, I almost fell off the bed!

As we were approaching the 3 hour mark, the doctor was trying to decide what to do. For whatever reason, you were not wanting to come out. She thought perhaps you were just going to be a big baby based on the last ultrasound. I asked if maybe you were facing up - they said it was possible. The next step she decided on was to try and use a vacuum to assist you out; she also brought up episiotomy and finally the dreaded C section. At that point I was determined to push you out immediately!

In order to use the vacuum the NICU team had to be present, so they put a call in to them. While we waited the resident stayed with me and tried her best to assist you out. Finally, I gave one good push and was then told to not move at all! Do not cough, sneeze, talk or move. This was the first time I actually somewhat felt something - your head was sitting there and they needed to get the doctor in there and finish setting up. Once they were ready I gave one more push and out you came - head, arms, legs...everything all at once! Oh and by the way, Mommy was right, you were facing up which now explained why we were pushing for 3 hours (also explained why they kept saying you were bald - they were looking at your forehead).

Of course, now I was waiting to here "It's a Girl!" or "It's a Boy!", but instead I heard "Dad do you want to cut the cord?" At that point I was trying to sit up and see you and kept saying "What is it?" Daddy finally said - "It's a girl!" I knew it! All along I felt you were a girl. Then we had the sign in the delivery room - there was a huge painting of irises, which was my Nana's favorite flower, and that is who you are named after.

I still remember how amazing the sound of your first cry was to me. Daddy and I immediately looked at each other and started to cry. We were so happy. Once Daddy had cut the cord though they immediately handed you over to the NICU team, which I was a little caught off guard by. Then I heard something about multiple spots on your body, the OB thought they were hemangiomas. The Neonatalogist looked you over, picked you up, handed you to me and said you were going to be just fine. They wanted to take you to the NICU for evaluation, but he reassured us you were just fine. I heard what he said, but all I cared about at the point was getting to hold you for the first time.

You were soooo beautiful!! We immediately bonded and I know you knew I was your Mommy because as soon as I started talking to you, the crying instantly stopped. I truly did not want to let you go. I knew I would instantly love you, after all I'd been loving you for 9 months; but I never imagined how full my heart would feel at that moment. Just like that, your little 6 lb 14 oz body had completely turned our world upside down in this amazing way. Daddy and I were so in love with you Madeline!